Looking on the Positive Side

Montessori School of Louisville • March 20, 2023

Our brains are hardwired to look for problems and generate solutions. In The Neuroscience of Change, Kelly McGonigal, a health psychologist and lecturer at Stanford University, explains how this brain state has been helpful for human evolution so we can improve our state of being. Looking for what’s wrong, however, often prevents us from seeing what is good in the present moment.

Because of our negative bias, we can easily become focused on what children need to do better: pick up their clothes, get ready faster, be quieter, solve math problems better, make less mess, and on and on. As a result, our children can easily be bombarded by what they are not doing right.

Clear Feedback & Encouragement

In Montessori environments, we focus on offering clear, accurate feedback and encouragement, which includes acknowledging children’s work and effort. We want children to develop an internal drive so they can be independent, responsible, thoughtful learners and community members.

To support this development, our feedback and encouragement are focused on what is happening for children internally. We acknowledge what children might be feeling and the effort involved. Instead of the focus being on what the adult is feeling, we reflect upon children’s experiences. So rather than saying “I’m so proud of you,” we might say “You look very proud,” or “You worked so hard. Congratulations!”

Phrases of encouragement or positive feedback work best when backed up by evidence. For example, “I noticed how your friends looked relieved when you offered to help sweep up the spilled rice. They seemed to really appreciate your kindness.” Or “I saw how you looked frustrated and then how you took a deep breath. You showed a lot of self-control at that moment.”

State the Positive

Developmentally, young children need to hear requests or reminders framed positively. They need to know the expected behavior and they need us to state what we expected to see. If we say, “don’t hit,” young children cannot easily differentiate between the commands “hit” and “don’t hit.” The last word they hear is “hit,” so that is the image that lasts in their minds. Thus, statements like “don’t run” or “don’t hit” aren’t as effective for our young children.

Rather than saying what not to do, we focus on the behavior we want to see. Statements like “walk, please,” “touch gently,” or “please talk quietly” offer a clear and positive image of what to do. Children hear how to be successful and thus can more easily be successful.

Catch Them Doing Something Right

In addition to these clear directions, we can recast children’s self-image by acknowledging times they are making a good choice. In doing so we are providing our children with positive attention. All too often children get attention when they are engaged in behaviors we don’t like. Children then quickly learn that they need to act out in some way if they want attention. To counter this trend, we need to catch our children doing something right.

Building a Foundation

If we are caught in a cycle of only seeing the negative, one way we can change our outlook is to make a list of all the things our children have done right over the course of a day. When we start noticing and acknowledging the good stuff, we help create a positive feedback loop. Young children also love hearing a story about their day that highlights the positive choices they have made.

In Different Learners, Jane M. Healy, Ph.D., offers a strong reminder about the profound influence we have on our children: “One thing brain research tells us – loud and clear – is that the way we raise and teach our children not only helps shape their brains, but can also influence or even alter the way genes play out their roles.”

In this season of new growth, let’s offer positive reminders and in-the-moment acknowledgments to help our young people develop successfully. By doing so we will also be helping ourselves see the world in a more positive light.

We also encourage you to come to visit our school to hear how the adults and children in our community interact with each other in positive ways!

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August 31 marked the birthday of Dr. Maria Montessori. Thus, we want to take time to honor the roots of this movement, the visionary contributions of Dr. Montessori herself, and our shared responsibility to carry her legacy forward. At the heart of Montessori education is a deep respect for human potential. Unlike traditional models that begin with the adult's idea of what a child should learn, the Montessori approach emerged from deep observation and genuine curiosity. Dr. Montessori did not set out to create a new educational system. Rather, she observed children with scientific curiosity and developed an approach in response to their needs. It’s important to remember that Dr. Montessori was first and foremost a scientist. She was one of the first female physicians in Italy, graduating in 1896 with a specialization in pediatrics and psychiatry. In her medical practice, she encountered children who were often seen as uneducable. 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This question launched a lifetime of work dedicated to understanding and supporting the natural development of all children. The Birth of the Montessori Method In 1907, Dr. Montessori opened her first classroom, the Casa dei Bambini, in the working-class neighborhood of San Lorenzo in Rome. Tasked with overseeing daycare for children too young for public school, she began by introducing simple, practical activities, starting with self-care and environmental care. She also provided an array of materials designed to engage children’s hands and minds. The transformation was extraordinary. Children who had previously been described as wild and unruly became calm, focused, and joyful. They took pride in their appearance and their surroundings. They concentrated for long stretches of time, developed social awareness, and, unprompted, began asking to learn how to read and write. Dr. Montessori was fascinated by what she called “spontaneous discipline” and the deep love of work she observed in the children. Through observation and experimentation, she continued to refine the materials, the environment, and the adult's role. Education Rooted in Development What emerged was a revolutionary approach: an educational philosophy based on the science of human development. Rather than seeing the adult as the source of knowledge and the child as an empty vessel, Dr. Montessori recognized that children come into the world with innate potential and a deep drive to learn. Montessori education supports this natural unfolding by honoring what Dr. Montessori called human tendencies, such as exploration, orientation, order, communication, work, and repetition, through carefully prepared environments that meet the specific needs of each developmental stage. The adult's role is not to instruct, but to guide, observe, prepare, and support. This vision of human development extends beyond the individual to a larger understanding of humans as part of a cosmic web of interrelationships. In this interconnected world, every part plays a role in maintaining balance and harmony. Humans have a unique place in this system, and our role requires conscious awareness, humility, and stewardship. In addition to fostering rich academic growth, Montessori education cultivates mature, adaptive, and compassionate individuals who are capable of making meaningful contributions to our interconnected world. The Enduring Impact of Montessori’s Vision Dr. Montessori eventually left her medical practice and professorship to fully devote her life to this work. She lectured around the world, trained teachers, wrote extensively, and advocated for children’s rights. She also always insisted that the focus remain on the children, not on her. 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We need to believe in children, observe them closely, and prepare environments that honor their needs. This also means that we, as adults, approach our role with humility and a sense of curiosity. Our job is to accompany children as they create the future. In this way, Montessori education becomes not just a method, but a movement, one rooted in peace, interdependence, and the full development of the human being. Thank you for being part of this vision. Together, here in Louisville, Kentucky, we are carrying the Montessori legacy forward, not only by what we teach, but by how we believe in the children before us. Come visit to learn more!