Supporting Independence with Encouragement

By: Marcia Kidd

“The essence of independence is to be able to do something for one’s self. Adults work to finish a task, but the child works in order to grow, and is working to create the adult, the person that is to be. Such experience is not just play… it is work he must do in order to grow up.”

Dr. Maria Montessori

At all levels, Montessori education stresses the importance of independence. Recognizing that authentic self-esteem comes from our ability to do something successfully and independently, MSL teachers are committed to developing capable and confident students – “can-do kids,” preparing one step at a time to take their place in the world. Montessori teachers nurture independence in several ways.

First, the teacher sets the student up for success. Having observed your child’s readiness and interest level for a specific lesson, the teacher gives the training (lesson) that is necessary for success – in other words, a well-thought-out and precise lesson presentation. Her words and movements are precise, the layout and order of lesson steps are logical, and the materials used are complete and appropriate to the needs of the lesson and the size of the child.

Secondly, as your child works to master the lessons presented, the teacher refrains from helping and encourages your child to work independently as much as possible. In all aspects of school life (academic, social, practical life, personal care, problem-solving), teachers support as needed, but are also careful to heed Montessori’s words:

“Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed.”

Finally, Montessori philosophy also supports independence by the manner in which feedback is given to students. At MSL, you may have noticed the absence of smiley faces, gold stars, high fives, and “good jobs.”

The choice to provide feedback in the form of ENCOURAGEMENT rather than PRAISE is another important way in which teachers intentionally support the growth of intrinsic motivation, independence and healthy self-esteem.

While the intention of praise is to encourage our children, research has shown that praise can actually negatively impact motivation and learning. In a study conducted by Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck, children as young as 14 months were observed to have already begun forming opinions about themselves based on praise given by parents and caregivers. Even as toddlers, these children had begun to avoid activities they perceived to be challenging (Bright Horizons). “Praise teaches dependency on external feedback (I’m ‘okay’ if you like what I do, and I feel badly if you don’t like what I do), while encouragement teaches internal validation (I use self-evaluation to determine how I feel about what I do)” (Nelsen).

Our job as parents and educators is to support the development of the whole child. How we provide feedback to children’s efforts can impact their long-term self-esteem and openness to learning new skills. Encouraging independence communicates faith in our children’s abilities.

Resources:

• Positive Parenting Encouragement Vs. Praise
• Encouragement Vs. Praise for Teachers
• The Difference Between Praise and Encouragement
• Praise Phrases vs alternative Encouragement Phrases (Nelsen, Jane)