Praise Vs. Encouragement

March 18, 2022

Supporting Independence with Encouragement

By: Marcia Kidd

“The essence of independence is to be able to do something for one’s self. Adults work to finish a task, but the child works in order to grow, and is working to create the adult, the person that is to be. Such experience is not just play… it is work he must do in order to grow up.”
Dr. Maria Montessori

At all levels, Montessori education stresses the importance of independence. Recognizing that authentic self-esteem comes from our ability to do something successfully and independently, MSL teachers are committed to developing capable and confident students – “can-do kids,” preparing one step at a time to take their place in the world. Montessori teachers nurture independence in several ways.

First, the teacher sets the student up for success. Having observed your child’s readiness and interest level for a specific lesson, the teacher gives the training (lesson) that is necessary for success – in other words, a well-thought-out and precise lesson presentation. Her words and movements are precise, the layout and order of lesson steps are logical, and the materials used are complete and appropriate to the needs of the lesson and the size of the child.

Secondly, as your child works to master the lessons presented, the teacher refrains from helping and encourages your child to work independently as much as possible. In all aspects of school life (academic, social, practical life, personal care, problem-solving), teachers support as needed, but are also careful to heed Montessori’s words:

“Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed.”


Finally, Montessori philosophy also supports independence by the manner in which feedback is given to students. At MSL, you may have noticed the absence of smiley faces, gold stars, high fives, and “good jobs.”


The choice to provide feedback in the form of ENCOURAGEMENT rather than PRAISE is another important way in which teachers intentionally support the growth of intrinsic motivation, independence and healthy self-esteem.


While the intention of praise is to encourage our children, research has shown that praise can actually negatively impact motivation and learning. In a study conducted by Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck, children as young as 14 months were observed to have already begun forming opinions about themselves based on praise given by parents and caregivers. Even as toddlers, these children had begun to avoid activities they perceived to be challenging (Bright Horizons). “Praise teaches dependency on external feedback (I’m ‘okay’ if you like what I do, and I feel badly if you don’t like what I do), while encouragement teaches internal validation (I use self-evaluation to determine how I feel about what I do)” (Nelsen).


Our job as parents and educators is to support the development of the whole child. How we provide feedback to children’s efforts can impact their long-term self-esteem and openness to learning new skills. Encouraging independence communicates faith in our children’s abilities.


Resources:


Alternatives to praise
that offer encouragement:

  • You did it.
  • Last week, riding your bicycle was challenging, but you kept trying and today you did it!
  • You worked really hard on that!
  • Can you show me how you did that?
  • You thought about it and came up with a brand new idea.
  • You figured it out!
  • How does it feel to finish your project?
  • What do you think about your work?


Consider the effects of praise versus encouragement:

PRAISE

  • Connotes judgment; can be used to manipulate behavior
  • Promotes comparison and competition among students
  • Focuses on quality of performance and assigns judgment
  • Can create anxiety, fear of failure, giving up
  • Fosters dependency on external feedback


ENCOURAGEMENT

  • Fosters internal motivation, self-knowledge, independence, growth
  • Promotes cooperation and contribution for the good of all
  • Focuses on effort and progress
  • Helps children become comfortable with failure, fosters determination
  • Promotes self-evaluation


October 26, 2026
When Dr. Maria Montessori began developing her curriculum for elementary-aged children, she recognized that their educational needs undergo a profound transformation. Academic skills become more complex, but more importantly, the way content is delivered must fundamentally shift. In the elementary years (ages 6–12), children transition away from the sensory, hands-on physical boundaries of early childhood and move toward an expanding intellectual horizon. Around age six, a child’s scope of vision expands exponentially beyond themselves. Social connections become paramount, a vivid imagination awakens, and a deep curiosity takes hold regarding the universe, society, and their own place within the big picture. To meet this developmental leap, Dr. Montessori created Cosmic Education—a holistic framework that presents the story of the universe and humanity’s interconnected role within it. The Five Great Lessons: Springboards for Imagination At the heart of Cosmic Education are the Five Great Lessons. These are not intended to be exhaustive academic lectures; rather, they are dramatic, impressionistic stories designed to ignite the child's imagination and serve as a springboard for all future research and learning. Because children spend three years in each elementary community (Lower Elementary: ages 6–9; Upper Elementary: ages 9–12), they experience these lessons three distinct times. Each year, as their cognitive capacity grows, the lessons reveal deeper layers of meaning, sparking fresh, student-led exploration in chemistry, history, mathematics, language, and the sciences. Great Lesson 1: The Creation of the Universe Typically presented at the start of the school year, this lesson offers a captivating sense of wonder. Guides intentionally prepare the atmosphere: drawing the blinds, dimming the lights, and gathering children around a series of impressionistic materials and science experiments. The story begins in the vast, cold darkness before the universe existed, building up to the instantaneous moment of creation. Through striking demonstrations, children observe: How particles moved together and apart The speed of light and the immense scale of stars States of matter (solids, liquids, gases) The formation of the solar system, the cooling of the Earth, and volcanic activity Follow-Up Studies: This lesson serves as the gateway to physics, chemistry, astronomy, geology, physical geography, and the scientific method. Great Lesson 2: The Coming of Life As the school year progresses, attention shifts to how life emerged on Earth. To help elementary students grasp deep time, guides utilize impressionistic visual materials: The Long Black Strip: A long runner of black fabric representing Earth's vast lifespan, ending with a tiny sliver of white to represent all of human history. This material provides a humbling visual perspective on our planet's timeline. The Clock of Eras & The Timeline of Life: Colorfully illustrated charts detailing life’s evolution from single-celled organisms through early plants, invertebrates, vertebrates, and dinosaurs. Follow-Up Studies: Children dive into biology, Botany, Zoology, the five kingdoms of life, vertebrate classification, and paleontology through fossil studies. Great Lesson 3: The Coming of Humans This lesson introduces early human ancestors and the arrival of human consciousness. Children reflect on what makes human beings unique—our ability to think, reason, feel deeply, and collaborate to invent tools that solve complex problems. Guides introduce the Fundamental Needs of Humans, demonstrating how all people throughout history and across cultures share the exact same core requirements for survival and fulfillment (shelter, nourishment, clothing, defense, spiritual expression, and art). Follow-Up Studies: Ancient history, cultural anthropology, world geography, social studies, and human migration patterns. Great Lesson 4: The History of Mathematics Elementary students are fascinated to discover that mathematics was not created out of thin air, but was invented by ancient civilizations to solve real-world problems, like measuring land, trading goods, and tracking time. By learning about the contributions of the Babylonians, Egyptians, Greeks, Mayans, and early Indian mathematicians who developed the concept of zero, children realize that numbers are a shared human heritage. Follow-Up Studies: When children work through subtraction, long division, or geometry, they ground their practice in historical context, making abstract math deeply meaningful and engaging. Great Lesson 5: The History of Language Similar to the history of math, this lesson illuminates how written language evolved. From early cave paintings and Egyptian hieroglyphics to the Phoenician alphabet and the printing press, students learn how humans captured spoken thoughts to communicate across distance and time. Follow-Up Studies: Because elementary students are actively refining their reading, grammar, creative writing, and research skills, understanding the origin of words (etymology) inspires pride and curiosity in their literacy work. Experiencing Cosmic Education at MSL Cosmic Education gives children a sense of purpose and belonging. Instead of delivering isolated facts, Montessori presents the whole universe first, allowing students to see how every detailed subject connects back to the grand story of life. Would you like to observe our Lower and Upper Elementary classrooms in action and see Cosmic Education at work? Schedule a tour today!
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