The First Six Years: Conquests of Independence
Montessori School of Louisville • June 5, 2023
As caregivers and parents, we have a bit of a bittersweet role. While we want to keep our children close, we ultimately need to support their path toward independence.
We expect dependence at the beginning. Yet our newborns take their very first step toward independence at birth. Once born, they have to breathe on their own. And rather than get nutrition through the umbilical cord, they use effort to begin latching on or suckling.
Throughout their first six years of life, our children achieve so many milestones of independence. Let’s take a look at some of these conquests of independence. You can use this framework as a guide and reminder of how we can support our children as they grow and develop.
Birth to One Year
- The first conquest of independence is birth which comes with the cutting of the umbilical cord. At this point, infants must breathe and gain nutrition on their own. Even our expression “It’s time to cut the cord” indicates the shift to increased independence.
- Movement is another acquisition of independence in the first year as children begin to use their arms and legs, sit up and crawl, and move from one place to another. With this increased locomotion children no longer need to be held or carried.
- Our children also begin to feed themselves. Even in the beginning when babies are nursing, we want them to indicate hunger. The weaning process and shift to using the weaning table supports this path to independence. As our children begin to eat and drink on their own, it is important to have foods and tools they can use independently (e.g. a shot glass for water, finger foods, etc.) rather than having an adult putting a utensil or bottle in their mouth.
- Children can also start to practice basic use of utensils. Having utensils that are child-sized and functional is key to independent use.
- In addition, our children need the opportunity to develop the ability to be by themselves. To become independent, they need to practice separating from their caregiver(s). Healthy separation depends upon healthy attachment, and our children need the chance to have some time without adult engagement.
- Around the end of the first year, children begin to develop language to communicate their needs. Prior to this time, they are able to use other methods to communicate: crying, cooing, smiling, etc. This communication is the beginning of social skills and children’s ability to relate socially to others.
One to Three Years
- During this time, children can walk confidently and begin to run and climb. Once children can walk, they can begin the process of becoming independent in toileting.
- They become more independent with the use of their hands, which become tools for exploration. Because of this, children no longer need to rely on others to hold and carry items.
- Language use allows children to begin to express themselves independently.
- Children can start to become independent in dressing themselves.
- They begin to be able to use simple tools (crayons, sticks, cups, utensils, etc.).
- They become more capable of caring for their own personal hygiene (brushing their teeth, washing their face, brushing their hair, etc.).
- Children become more proficient with and capable of carrying their own items.
- They have the capacity to clean up after themselves (putting away belongings, folding clothing, wiping spills, sweeping crumbs, etc.).
As children get older, they need opportunities to develop their will. Thus, during this stage of independence, it is really important that children can make choices. Making a choice means they are acting for themselves and exercising their will.
From Three to Four and a Half
- If it hasn't happened already, children experience separation from the family (e.g. going to school). To be able to separate from one’s family is a new skill of independence. For children who haven’t been able to be by themselves, this is a harder process. During this time, children realize they can survive and trust others, which is a significant step in independence.
- Children develop a wider range of social skills.
- Children’s motor and visual skills become more developed and refined.
- They are able to engage in more games (e.g. catching and throwing a ball).
- They have finer manual dexterity (using individual fingers) as well as refined fine motor skills (when all fingers are working in unison).
- Children begin to develop the ability to use language to express their emotions. They can learn a multitude of words to be able to express feelings.
- They can use utensils and tools to prepare their own food (which ideally happens prior to age three). Research shows that children involved in preparing their own food are more likely to try diverse foods.
- Children learn to master fasteners (zippers, buckles, bows, etc.) and thus the self-care involved with dressing and undressing.
- They can contribute to their community and care not only for themselves but also for the environment through simple responsibilities like setting the table, folding towels, etc.
- They are more independent in caring for their own hygiene needs.
- Because their vocabulary is expanding, children can use words to express emotions, as well as to better express their thoughts.
Four and a Half to Six
- Children have more social independence and can not only do for themselves but can also use acquired skills to help others.
- They become more independent in their social skills so they can internalize and apply the social norms of their community (e.g. pushing in chairs, greeting visitors, communicating that they need space, etc.).
- Children become proficient in dressing themselves and can help younger peers with the dressing and undressing process (e.g. getting dressed for going outdoors).
- They acquire the capacity to have empathy and compassion.
- They have a basic understanding of quantities and how they are represented, instead of just mimicking or rote counting.
- Children begin to recognize and use the symbols of our language (e.g. expressing themselves through writing or interpreting the thoughts of others through reading).
These conquests of independence are ultimately about becoming functionally independent. Young children are in a process of mastering different aspects of their lives and they need us, their caregivers, to support them in this process.
Our children are so capable and they benefit when allowed to move toward increasing independence. If you’d like to see how our Montessori environments set children up for success, please schedule a tour!
Discover how multi-age classrooms at Montessori School of Louisville nurture individual learning, strong relationships, and natural leadership from Toddlerhood through 8th Grade. Learn how our intentional groupings empower children to learn at their own pace and prepare for life.
When Dr. Maria Montessori began developing her curriculum for elementary-aged children, she recognized that their educational needs undergo a profound transformation. Academic skills become more complex, but more importantly, the way content is delivered must fundamentally shift. In the elementary years (ages 6–12), children transition away from the sensory, hands-on physical boundaries of early childhood and move toward an expanding intellectual horizon. Around age six, a child’s scope of vision expands exponentially beyond themselves. Social connections become paramount, a vivid imagination awakens, and a deep curiosity takes hold regarding the universe, society, and their own place within the big picture. To meet this developmental leap, Dr. Montessori created Cosmic Education—a holistic framework that presents the story of the universe and humanity’s interconnected role within it. The Five Great Lessons: Springboards for Imagination At the heart of Cosmic Education are the Five Great Lessons. These are not intended to be exhaustive academic lectures; rather, they are dramatic, impressionistic stories designed to ignite the child's imagination and serve as a springboard for all future research and learning. Because children spend three years in each elementary community (Lower Elementary: ages 6–9; Upper Elementary: ages 9–12), they experience these lessons three distinct times. Each year, as their cognitive capacity grows, the lessons reveal deeper layers of meaning, sparking fresh, student-led exploration in chemistry, history, mathematics, language, and the sciences. Great Lesson 1: The Creation of the Universe Typically presented at the start of the school year, this lesson offers a captivating sense of wonder. Guides intentionally prepare the atmosphere: drawing the blinds, dimming the lights, and gathering children around a series of impressionistic materials and science experiments. The story begins in the vast, cold darkness before the universe existed, building up to the instantaneous moment of creation. Through striking demonstrations, children observe: How particles moved together and apart The speed of light and the immense scale of stars States of matter (solids, liquids, gases) The formation of the solar system, the cooling of the Earth, and volcanic activity Follow-Up Studies: This lesson serves as the gateway to physics, chemistry, astronomy, geology, physical geography, and the scientific method. Great Lesson 2: The Coming of Life As the school year progresses, attention shifts to how life emerged on Earth. To help elementary students grasp deep time, guides utilize impressionistic visual materials: The Long Black Strip: A long runner of black fabric representing Earth's vast lifespan, ending with a tiny sliver of white to represent all of human history. This material provides a humbling visual perspective on our planet's timeline. The Clock of Eras & The Timeline of Life: Colorfully illustrated charts detailing life’s evolution from single-celled organisms through early plants, invertebrates, vertebrates, and dinosaurs. Follow-Up Studies: Children dive into biology, Botany, Zoology, the five kingdoms of life, vertebrate classification, and paleontology through fossil studies. Great Lesson 3: The Coming of Humans This lesson introduces early human ancestors and the arrival of human consciousness. Children reflect on what makes human beings unique—our ability to think, reason, feel deeply, and collaborate to invent tools that solve complex problems. Guides introduce the Fundamental Needs of Humans, demonstrating how all people throughout history and across cultures share the exact same core requirements for survival and fulfillment (shelter, nourishment, clothing, defense, spiritual expression, and art). Follow-Up Studies: Ancient history, cultural anthropology, world geography, social studies, and human migration patterns. Great Lesson 4: The History of Mathematics Elementary students are fascinated to discover that mathematics was not created out of thin air, but was invented by ancient civilizations to solve real-world problems, like measuring land, trading goods, and tracking time. By learning about the contributions of the Babylonians, Egyptians, Greeks, Mayans, and early Indian mathematicians who developed the concept of zero, children realize that numbers are a shared human heritage. Follow-Up Studies: When children work through subtraction, long division, or geometry, they ground their practice in historical context, making abstract math deeply meaningful and engaging. Great Lesson 5: The History of Language Similar to the history of math, this lesson illuminates how written language evolved. From early cave paintings and Egyptian hieroglyphics to the Phoenician alphabet and the printing press, students learn how humans captured spoken thoughts to communicate across distance and time. Follow-Up Studies: Because elementary students are actively refining their reading, grammar, creative writing, and research skills, understanding the origin of words (etymology) inspires pride and curiosity in their literacy work. Experiencing Cosmic Education at MSL Cosmic Education gives children a sense of purpose and belonging. Instead of delivering isolated facts, Montessori presents the whole universe first, allowing students to see how every detailed subject connects back to the grand story of life. Would you like to observe our Lower and Upper Elementary classrooms in action and see Cosmic Education at work? Schedule a tour today!
Discover how MSL’s Practical Life curriculum nurtures independence, motor refinement, and real-world executive functioning from Toddlers through Middle School.
